The anniversary of the Air India disaster has arrived, and with it the ritual hand-wringing over aviation safety. But while the British establishment pats itself on the back for its 'world-leading' protocols, let us not forget that our own safety record is less a triumph of engineering and more a monument to luck and stubborn refusal to die. India's aviation sector, meanwhile, operates with the structural integrity of a drunken dream.
Their planes are held together by prayer and bureaucratic inertia. Britain, of course, fixed all that years ago, because we are marvellous. We introduced stricter maintenance checks, better pilot training, and a system that actually punishes incompetence.
In India, they still use the 'if it flies, it's fine' method. Our safety gaps were plugged shortly after the Wright brothers invented the wheel. But here's the kicker: while we boast about our superior oversight, we also just spent a decade deregulating everything with the enthusiasm of a libertarian on a bender.
Our aviation authorities are currently staffed by former airline executives who think 'oversight' is what happens when you look out the window. So yes, we fixed the gaps. But only to create new ones, because that's the British way.
We solve a problem, forget we solved it, and then invent a new one just to keep the consulting firms in business. The real gap? The gap between what we say and what we do.
But don't worry, we'll have a committee to look into it. After the gin.
