In a development that has sent a ripple through the collective teacups of Whitehall, it emerges that Bashar al-Assad's son-in-law is now the chief architect of Syria's latest purge. One can almost hear the collective sigh from the Foreign Office as they polish their ceremonial condemnations. This is state terror with a family discount: buy one massacre, get a relative free to orchestrate it.
The UK, in a move of breathtaking predictability, has condemned this in the strongest possible terms, which in diplomatic parlance means they'll issue a strongly worded letter and then have a biscuit. Assad's relation, presumably having inherited the family's talent for brutal efficiency, is now overseeing operations that make the term 'security forces' sound like a macabre oxymoron. It's a grim reminder that in Syria, the apple doesn't fall far from the torture tree.
The UK's condemnation is as earnest as it is useless, a ritual dance where we tut loudly while the war crimes continue. But fear not, for our leaders have mastered the art of appearing concerned while doing absolutely nothing. They'll likely send a strongly worded tweet, which will be retweeted by other nations who also specialise in performative outrage.
Meanwhile, the purges continue, because nothing says 'we care' like a historic lack of intervention. So raise a glass of airport gin, dear reader, to the glorious farce of international diplomacy. Cheers.
