In a development that has sent shivers of disbelief through the gilded halls of Mar-a-Lago and the gin-soaked brain of this correspondent, the US House of Representatives has actually done something useful. They have passed a resolution to block Donald Trump's harebrained scheme to turn Iran into a smoking crater. It is a victory for sanity, decency, and British diplomacy, which apparently still has some residual clout in a world gone mad.
The vote, a bipartisan slap in the face to the orange-tinted deity of the GOP, was 228 to 175. Yes, you read that correctly. The House of Representatives, that bastion of partisan paralysis, actually managed to agree on something.
They agreed that starting a war with Iran, a country that has not yet invaded anyone in living memory, is a bad idea. This is not just a rebuke to Trump; it is a full-throated, prime-time, carefully orchestrated humiliation. The sort of humiliation usually reserved for tabloid journalists who confuse their gin with their tonic.
And where was the British Embassy in all this? Lurking in the shadows, no doubt, pulling strings with the quiet efficiency of a butler cleaning up after a particularly messy dinner party. Boris Johnson's government, having exhausted its own capacity for competent foreign policy, seems to have discovered a hitherto unknown talent for whispering in the ears of Nancy Pelosi.
The resolution, for all its legal flimflam, is a cap in the backside of the Imperial Presidency. It states clearly that no funds shall be used for military action against Iran without congressional approval. This is not just a piece of paper; it is a tripwire.
A tripwire that Trump, in his infinite wisdom, walked right into. The man has the strategic foresight of a moth attracted to a bug zapper. One can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from the British Foreign Office, a department so used to cleaning up American messes that they have developed a specialised cleaning product called 'Diplomatic Oxi-Clean'.
The victory is sweet, but temporary. This is a war of attrition, a game of chicken between a reckless president and a constitution still clinging to life. The resolution is non-binding, meaning it is about as enforceable as a gentleman's agreement in a gentlemen's club.
But it is a signal. A signal that the American people, through their representatives, are not fooled. They see the sabre-rattling for what it is: a desperate attempt to distract from a failed presidency.
So raise a glass, dear reader. Raise a glass of the finest airport gin you can find. This is a victory for diplomacy, for sanity, and for the British art of looking calm while the world burns.
It might not last, but for now, the bomb has been defused. Until the next tweet, that is.
