In a stunning display of legislative spine, a rare commodity in Washington’s paralysed halls, the United States Congress has finally wrestled the bone of war from the clenched jaws of a President who treats foreign policy like a game of darts in a Wetherspoons after seven gins. But let us not mince words: this is a victory for Britain’s strategic allies, the unsung heroes of the transatlantic alliance, who have been quietly praying that the orange demagogue didn’t drag us into another Mesopotamian quagmire.
The scene: the Capitol building, a place where decorum goes to die, but yesterday it witnessed a miracle – a bipartisan vote to reassert congressional authority over war with Iran. Yes, you heard it here first: the same Congress that once rubber-stamped the Iraq invasion like a drunk vicar signing a marriage certificate, suddenly grew a backbone. Or perhaps they simply realised that the British public, still nursing a hangover from Brexit, could not stomach another ‘coalition of the willing’ farce.
For years, the special relationship has been a one-way street, with Britain playing the loyal spaniel, fetching sticks for Uncle Sam’s global gambles. But this time, sanity prevailed. The House voted 227-186 to repeal the 2002 Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq, a dusty relic from a simpler time when we thought weapons of mass destruction were hidden in sand dunes. The Senate, ever the more sober chamber, added its own amendment demanding presidential approval for any new war. Trump, reportedly furious, tweeted something about “low energy Jeb!” before retreating to his golden bunker.
Let us dissect the implications for Her Majesty’s realm. First, the pound sterling briefly rallied, as traders realised the risk of a Gulf conflict had dipped below ‘absolute calamity’ levels. Second, the Foreign Office issued a statement of “cautious optimism,” which in diplomatic speak translates to “we’re not sending troops yet.” Third, the realpolitik: Britain’s strategic allies in the region – namely Saudi Arabia and Israel – are now left to grumble into their falafel as the US Congress pulls the plug on their proxy war fantasies.
But the true hero of this saga is the Iranian nuclear deal, that beleaguered treaty that Trump tore up like a parking ticket. With Congress now asserting its war powers, there is a faint glimmer of hope for diplomacy. Or as one Whitehall mandarin put it, “We can finally have a proper chat without someone mentioning ‘maximum pressure’ every five seconds.”
Of course, the cynical among you will note that this is Congress’s final act before the election circus distracts them until 2021. But for now, let us raise a glass of mediocre airport gin to the unlikely coalition of Democrats and Never-Trump Republicans who remembered that war is not a video game. The British Empire may be a memory, but at least we are not being dragged into another one of America’s sandpit adventures. Not today, at least.
In conclusion, chaps: the special relationship just got a little less special, and that is a very good thing indeed.
