In a development so predictable it could have been written by a committee of sleep-deprived toddlers with crayons, Whitehall’s finest alarm-bells have started clanging about China’s persecution of underground churches. Because nothing screams ‘global religious freedom in peril’ quite like a bunch of men in sensible suits who last saw a church when they were dragged to a royal wedding. But hold your gin, because what we’re really seeing is the beautiful symphony of geopolitical wing-flapping.
The Chinese authorities, clearly terrified that a few hymn-singing pensioners might topple the Communist Party, have been raiding unregistered house churches faster than a fox in a hen-house. And our security chiefs, smelling a chance to justify their budgets, have rushed to the microphones to warn that this threatens ‘religious freedom everywhere’. As if the ban on speaking truth to power in Shanghai directly correlates with your Aunt Mildred’s ability to mumble through evensong in Tunbridge Wells.
The irony? While these spooks fret about underground churches in Chengdu, back in Blighty we have bishops openly questioning the government’s asylum-seeker policy, vicars getting arrested for climate protests, and a Prime Minister who changes religion like most people change socks. But no, the real threat to freedom is halfway across the world, in a country where the state has a documented habit of smashing anything that moves independently.
Let us not forget that the ‘Church’ in China is largely a state-run puppet show, and any independent flock is treated like a revolutionary cell. So yes, the crackdown is real. But the notion that it endangers the deeply secular, mostly-apathetic pews of the West is about as credible as a politician’s promise.
The real question is: why does our security establishment need to clutch its pearls over a foreign nation’s internal religious disputes? Is it because they can, because it looks busy, or because it’s easier than addressing the fact that our own churches are emptier than a politician’s conscience? One suspects the latter.
So let us raise a glass (it’s gin, obviously) to the glorious hypocrisy of the British security state, wringing its hands over house churches in Harbin while turning a blind eye to the multi-faith praying for rain in Manchester. The real threat to religious freedom, chaps, is not in Beijing. It’s in the closing of village churches turned into luxury flats, the banning of prayer near abortion clinics, and the general indifference of a nation that has swapped belief for brunch.
But never mind all that. Sound the klaxon! The overseas bogeyman has moved again.
Biff Thistlethwaite, signing off, to go find a church that serves gin.
