The UK birth rate has fallen to a record low, sparking fresh debate about the country’s ageing population. But for many women, the choice to remain childfree is not a crisis – it is a rational response to economic pressures and shifting social expectations.
Sarah Jenkins, a 34-year-old marketing manager from Leeds, has heard every stereotype: selfish, cold, missing out. “People assume I’m going to regret it,” she says. “But I can’t afford a child. Rent eats half my salary. Childcare is a second mortgage. And my job expects me to be available 24/7. How would that work?”
Her story is increasingly common. Official figures released this week show the total fertility rate in England and Wales dropped to 1.49 children per woman in 2023, the lowest since records began in 1938. The number of women aged 25 to 29 having their first child has fallen by a quarter over the past decade.
Policy makers have warned that a shrinking workforce will strain public services and pensions. But childfree women argue that the conversation fails to address the root causes: stagnant wages, soaring housing costs, and inadequate childcare support.
“The government wants us to have more babies, but they won’t invest in the infrastructure that makes parenthood viable,” says Dr. Emma Richards, a sociologist at the University of Manchester. “Free childcare, secure housing, decent maternity leave – without these, telling women to ‘just have children’ is tone deaf.”
The cost of raising a child has risen to £250,000 from birth to age 18, according to the Centre for Economics and Business Research. Meanwhile, real wages for under-30s have barely grown since 2008. The Institute for Fiscal Studies found that the average 30-year-old today earns £2,000 less in real terms than their counterpart a decade ago.
For many, the choice is also about climate anxiety. A 2023 survey by the Office for National Statistics found that 15% of childless adults aged 20 to 45 cited environmental concerns as a reason not to have children. “I can’t bring a child into a world with an uncertain future,” says Jenkins. “It feels irresponsible.”
Some commentators blame feminism or a culture of individualism. But childfree women push back. “This isn’t about selfishness,” says Richards. “It’s about a realistic assessment of what it takes to raise a child in Britain today, and many just don’t have the resources.”
The debate has become increasingly polarised on social media. Hashtags like #childfree and #regretfulparents surface daily. Yet the majority of childfree women describe their decision as a relief, not a sacrifice.
“I love my nephews, but I also love my quiet weekends and financial security,” says Maria, a 40-year-old teacher from Bristol. “I’m not anti-child. I’m pro-choice.”
Policy responses have been slow. The government expanded free childcare hours in the March budget, but campaigners say it falls short. “It’s a sticking plaster,” says Richards. “We need a real national conversation about how we value care, whether for children or the elderly. Instead we get panic about birth rates.”
As the population ages, the pressure on the working-age population will intensify. But forcing women into motherhood is not the answer. “If you want people to have children, make it possible,” says Jenkins. “Stop asking why we don’t, and start asking how you can help.”
