The capital of the world's largest democracy has become a crematorium without chimneys. As the mercury hits 45 degrees Celsius, the poor of Delhi are dropping like flies at a Tory party conference. Meanwhile, the British-funded 'climate resilience programme' is buckling faster than a reality-TV star's moral compass.
This is the same programme that cost Her Majesty's taxpayers a cool £10 million, presumably to purchase industrial-sized fans and politely ask the sun to bugger off. The irony is so thick you could spread it on a scone. The poor, who cannot afford air conditioning or even a decent electric fan, are left to bake in their shanties while the British High Commissioner issues a statement expressing 'deep concern' from his air-conditioned office.
One might say the only thing resilient about this programme is its ability to generate press releases. Meanwhile, a local vendor told your correspondent, 'Sahib, the heat is so bad that even the crows are walking.' In related news, a white paper on the matter is being drafted by a committee of well-fed officials who will conclude that more studies are needed.
Your correspondent suggests a simpler solution: give every poor Delhiite a gin and tonic and a shady spot near a river. But that would be too logical, too humane. Instead, we shall continue to fund 'resilience' while the city simmers in its own juices.
God save the King, but bugger the poor.
