In a twist that would make a Kafka novel blush, Nicaraguan indigenous leader Fidencio Moreno has perished after three years in President Daniel Ortega’s hospitality suite, otherwise known as a prison cell. The Foreign Office, in a fit of sudden concern for human rights that it usually reserves for the wrong end of a gin bottle, is now demanding an international inquiry. This is the same Foreign Office that has been using Nicaragua as a convenient proxy for its own geopolitical hangovers.
Moreno, a Miskito activist, was last seen alive in 2020 when he was sentenced to 13 years for the crime of existing while indigenous and questioning the government’s logging permits. His death, reportedly from a heart attack, has the same ring of authenticity as a politician’s promise. The Ortega regime, of course, has expressed official sorrow while simultaneously rolling out the red carpet for timber barons.
The Foreign Office’s demand for an inquiry is like asking a fox to investigate the disappearance of your chickens. They want the United Nations to step in, which is akin to asking a committee of goldfish to investigate a leaky bowl. Meanwhile, the British government continues to sell arms to Saudi Arabia, proving that moral outrage is a very selective poison.
Moreno’s death is tragic, but it’s also a symptom of a larger rot. The international community, led by great powers who have the attention span of a caffeinated ferret, will issue statements, hold consultations, and maybe, just maybe, impose sanctions that will be ignored. Then they will move on to the next crisis, leaving Nicaragua’s trees and people to be chopped down in equal measure.
So here’s to Fidencio Moreno, a man who died for the sin of wanting his people to have a voice. And here’s to the Foreign Office, which will now engage in a three-year round of diplomatic ping-pong, culminating in a report that gathers dust. Cheers, you bastards.
