In a world where gravity is a fascist and buildings are its victims, chaos has erupted in Venezuela. Rescuers, with commendable speed, dig through rubble as a building collapses under the weight of its own corrupt maintenance. Enter the UK, galloping in on a white horse of bureaucratic efficiency, pledging a 'rapid response team' for construction safety.
Because nothing says 'immediate aid' like a committee meeting about risk assessments. The team will include three clipboard warriors, a tea fetcher, and a safety consultant who has never touched concrete. The Venezuelan people, meanwhile, are left wondering if the UK's help will arrive before or after the next building spontaneously combusts.
This is the modern world: where a nation's infrastructure is a game of Jenga, and the cavalry comes with a PowerPoint presentation. Biff Thistlethwaite out, off to find a gin that can dissolve existential dread.
