In what can only be described as a masterclass in unsolicited home renovations, the Israeli Defence Force has once again demonstrated its commitment to interior design by redecorating a Beirut suburb with a Hellfire missile. The target, a Hezbollah commander who shall now be known as 'the late lamented', departed this mortal coil along with a sizeable chunk of his residential edifice. Official confirmation from the Lebanese government was delivered with the customary wailing and gnashing of teeth, though one cannot help but detect a note of grudging admiration.
'They certainly know how to make an entrance,' muttered a local baker, sweeping rubble from his shop front. The IDF, for its part, issued a statement that read like a restaurant review: 'The cuisine was not to our liking, so we sent back the chef in several small pieces.' Meanwhile, the international community engaged in its favourite pastime of tutting with great vigour but zero follow-through.
The UN Security Council called an emergency meeting, which is diplomatic code for 'an excuse to order expensive canapés.' Biff Thistlethwaite, reporting from the Gin and Tonic Memorial Library, notes that in the great theatre of Middle Eastern politics, the curtain has once again fallen on a tragically brief performance. Exit stage left, pursued by a Hellfire.
