Westminster is obsessed with exports. Whiskey, finance, the BBC. But no one saw this coming. A genre born in the British Isles, ice hockey romance, is now the streaming world's most unexpected juggernaut.
Sources tell me the data is staggering. Think box set binges from Seoul to São Paulo. The plots are formulaic. A gruff Canadian star. A plucky British heroine. A rink. A kiss in the penalty box. But the numbers? They're real. Netflix, Amazon, even the BBC have all greenlit new productions.
How did this happen? Cynics say it's the post-Brexit craving for soft power. Cultural attachés in Washington and Beijing are now pushing these scripts. But the real story is simpler. The Americans can't get enough of 'our' accents. The soft 'u' in 'colour.' The stoic British reserve melting under a hockey helmet. It's a trope that works.
One insider told me the turning point was a single tweet in 2022. A viral clip of a Brit explaining the offside rule to a baffled American. The algorithm loved it. Now production companies are scrambling. They're buying up rights to self-published novels set in fictional Scottish highlands. With hockey sticks, naturally.
The government is watching closely. Desperate for a 'Global Britain' narrative, they've quietly funded a trade mission to Toronto. The goal? Secure co-production deals. Expect an announcement from DCMS soon. Culture Secretary is said to be 'thrilled' at the 'unexpectedly robust performance.'
But backbench MPs are wary. Some whisper this is a distraction. A fluff piece for a government with no other cultural wins. Others are more blunt. 'It's just romanticising a sport we don't play,' one Tory MP told me. 'But if it pays for the NHS, who cares?'
Polling suggests the public is mildly bemused but proud. The genre's biggest star, a Sheffield-born actress now living in Vancouver, was asked about it on GMTV. Her response? A perfectly timed eye roll. 'It's just a bit of fun,' she said. 'But do I get a cut of the export figures?'
The reality is this: Britain's soft power has few cards left. The monarchy is shaky. The music scene is flat. But romance on ice? It's minted. The question now is how long the streak lasts. Or if the culture war will strike next. Expect a backbench rebellion on 'woke hockey propaganda' any day now.
For now, the numbers tell a clear story. Britain's ice hockey romance is a golden egg. Let's see if Whitehall can stop it from cracking.
