In a development that has sent Vladimir Putin scurrying for his smelling salts and a fresh bottle of Stolichnaya, Armenia has dealt the Kremlin a stinging blow by cleaving to the West. As the UK gallantly gallops to the rescue, pledging undying support for democratic resilience, one can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from Whitehall. But let us not get misty-eyed over geopolitics. This is a story of power, pretence, and the perennial Punch and Judy show of international relations where we, the unassuming punters, are left to pick up the tab.
Armenia, a country the size of Belgium and with a taste for brandy and chess, has long been the stage for a tug-of-war between East and West. For decades, it was firmly ensconced in Russia’s orbit, a loyal satellite in the Caucasus. But of late, the winds of change have howled through Yerevan. After a humiliating defeat in Nagorno-Karabakh and a string of broken promises from Moscow, the Armenian people have had enough. They have turned their gaze westward, towards the siren call of NATO and the European Union. And who can blame them? When your so-called ally sells weapons to your enemy and then twiddles its thumbs while you bleed, even a vodka-soaked friendship has its limits.
The British government, sensing an opportunity to poke the Russian bear with a very sharp stick, has wasted no time. The Foreign Office, the very epitome of stiff upper lips and tweed, has announced a new package of support for Armenia’s democratic institutions. This includes training for civil servants, assistance with judicial reforms, and perhaps most importantly, a great deal of moral outrage. The UK is partnering with the United States, the European Union, and Canada in what they have dubbed a “democratic resilience initiative.” The irony of Britain lecturing anyone on democratic resilience is not lost on this correspondent. A country that has had more prime ministers than a hotel has pillows in the last decade is now a bastion of steadfast governance? But I digress.
The Kremlin’s reaction has been predictable. State-owned media is frothing at the mouth, denouncing the West’s machinations and accusing Armenia of ingratitude. Putin, the man with the deadest eyes in geopolitics, has reportedly been muttering about “colour revolutions” and “foreign interference.” One can almost see him stroking his cat and plotting some dastardly cyber-attack. But for all his bluster, Russia’s influence in the region is waning. The war in Ukraine has drained its coffers and its credibility. Meanwhile, Armenia is courting the European Union with all the enthusiasm of a lovestruck teenager.
For the UK, this is a diplomatic win that costs little but yields much. By backing Armenia, Britain can posture as a defender of democracy while tweaking the nose of its nemesis. It is a game of geopolitical chess, and we are all pawns. But let us raise a glass of Armenian brandy to the brave souls in Yerevan who dare to dream of a future free from Moscow’s shadow. May their democracy be resilient and their brandy smooth. And may the Kremlin choke on its own sour grapes.
