In a move that redefines the term 'friendly fire' into something more resembling 'genocidal sneak attack,' the Kremlin gifted a drone strike to seven unsuspecting souls in Russian-occupied Ukraine. Moscow's latest escalation in terror comes with a side of irony, as they bomb people they claim to be 'liberating.' President Putin, presumably consulting his interior decorator for the perfect shade of rubble chic, authorised the strike on a residential area.
Locals report the drones were surprisingly quiet, perhaps out of politeness for the early hour. One survivor described the attack as 'like a swarm of angry bees with a death wish,' which is either a vivid metaphor or a new Russian military tactic. Meanwhile, the West tuts in a vaguely threatening manner, and the UN schedules another emergency meeting where everyone will use very serious words.
Violence is a language the Kremlin speaks fluently, but its accent is getting harder to ignore. This is Barnaby 'Biff' Thistlethwaite, reminding you that in the theatre of war, the audience is always dead.
