In a twist that could only be penned by a vengeful god with a sense of irony, Jared Kushner's vision for a luxury resort on the Albanian coast has ignited protests. Locals, it seems, are not keen on swapping their rugged coastline for a gilded cage of oligarchic excess. The average Albanian would rather keep their goats than see them displaced by the 1%'s holiday homes.
Meanwhile, the UK tourism sector watches with the nervous twitch of a man who's just spotted his ex-wife at a family wedding. You see, dear reader, the protestors in Albania are not just throwing stones; they are throwing a spanner in the works of a global trend. If the locals can repel a Kushner-backed behemoth, what does that mean for the gentrification of Cornwall?
Or the private-island fantasies of the Thames estuary? It's a butterfly effect with the wings of a condor. I, for one, welcome our new Albanian overlords.
They have more spine than a porcupine convention. But let's not forget the irony: this resort was meant to be a panacea, a jobs bonanza. Instead, it's become a symbol of how 'development' often means 'developers taking the cream while the locals get the bill.
' The protests are not a rejection of tourism; they are a rejection of tourism that treats locals as scenery. A lesson for the UK's swivel-eyed tourism chiefs: you can't polish a turd no matter how many gold-plated bidets you install. So here's to the Albanian protestors, standing firm against the tide of billionaire whims.
May your flag fly high, and may your coastline remain your own.
