In a spectacle so absurd it could only be American, a couple decided to prove their undying devotion by clambering atop the Empire State Building. They were promptly arrested, which is, of course, the logical conclusion to such a romantic gesture. British security experts, clutching their cups of tea and shaking their heads, have now pointed out the glaring vulnerabilities of this iconic building.
One must wonder: have we learned nothing from the fall of Rome? The empire of security theatre collapses while lovers play mountaineers. The couple, no doubt, thought themselves modern-day Romeo and Juliet, but Shakespeare’s tragedy at least had the decency to be confined to a balcony.
Here, they scaled a monument to American ambition, only to be brought down by the dull weight of reality. Perhaps the real scandal is not that they climbed, but that no one stopped them. A building that survived a B-25 bomber crash now falls prey to a pair of starry-eyed fools.
It is a testament to our collective intellectual decadence: we fortify against imaginary threats while real ones walk through the front door. Or, in this case, the fire escape. The couple’s arrest is a victory for order, but a defeat for the imagination.
Then again, imagination has always been the first casualty of security. So let us toast the lovers, for they reminded us that even in a world of metal detectors and pat-downs, the human spirit can still find a ladder. But let us also weep for a culture so hollowed out that a grand gesture earns handcuffs instead of applause.
The Empire State Building stands as a symbol of a bygone era when men built to touch the sky, not to be locked up for doing so.
