In a turn of events that would make a black comedy writer blush, a mob of torch-wielding, plague-doubting enthusiasts have set fire to an Ebola treatment centre in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Yes, you read that correctly. In a world where the invisible enemy is a haemorrhagic fever, the locals have decided the real threat is the people in hazmat suits trying to stop it. British medics, who had bravely swapped their daily dose of drizzle for a spot of tropical disease containment, are now fearing for their safety. One might say they’ve gone from fighting a virus to fighting a belief system, which is rather like trying to reason with a gin bottle that insists it’s empty.
The logic of the mob, if we can call it that, runs thus: The Ebola virus is a fabrication, a Western conspiracy to steal their organs or something equally ludicrous. Because nothing says ‘we care about your health’ quite like setting fire to the very building designed to keep you from bleeding out of every orifice. The hospital, a facility run by the charity ALIMA and the Congolese health ministry, was a beacon of hope in a region that has seen more than its fair share of suffering. Now it’s a smouldering monument to humanity’s unique talent for shooting itself in the foot, then blaming the gun.
British medics, those stoic souls who usually reserve their panic for a shortage of Tetley tea bags, are reportedly ‘deeply concerned’. One unnamed source, a nurse from Manchester, was quoted as saying, ‘I came here to save lives, not to be a target for people who think the curative powers of arson outweigh those of modern medicine.’ The irony, of course, is thicker than the smoke rising from the charred remains of the centre. These are the same people who, if they actually contract Ebola, will no doubt queue up for treatment at the next centre they haven’t yet set ablaze.
This is not an isolated incident. It’s part of a growing trend of medical workers being attacked by those they seek to help. From Pakistan to the very heart of Africa, the men and women in white coats have become the new villains in a world that has lost all sense of perspective. Meanwhile, the real villain Ebola continues its grim work, spreading through communities that would rather believe in conspiracy theories than in basic hygiene. It’s like watching someone refuse a life raft because they don’t trust the colour orange.
So what is to be done? Perhaps we need a new approach. Instead of building gleaming hospitals, perhaps we should erect thatched huts and have the medics dress as witch doctors. Offer the afflicted a choice between a vaccine and a dance around a fire. Because clearly, the language of science is not cutting it. We need to speak in metaphors they understand, like ‘This vaccine is your magic shield against the invisible demon’ and ‘Please don’t burn down the magic shield house.’
But until that day arrives, let us spare a thought for the British medics dodging both the virus and the violence. They are the real heroes, fighting a war on two fronts against an enemy that is both microscopic and massively stupid. And if they should ever read this, know that there is a gin and tonic waiting for them at the nearest airport bar. Provided, of course, that airport hasn’t been torched by a mob convinced that aviation is a hoax.
