In a blow to those who thought enlightenment and embezzlement were mutually exclusive, a Chinese kung fu monk has been sentenced to seven years in a padded cell (not the meditation kind) for allegedly chi-ing his way into the temple's coffers. The case has sent shockwaves through the spiritual investment community, particularly among British pensioners who were promised a slice of celestial real estate. Master Liang, who once broke bricks with his forehead, clearly broke a few more rules when he allegedly funnelled temple donations into a series of property developments in Hainan.
The temple, a UNESCO heritage site, had been marketed to gullible Western investors as a 'tax-exempt karma farm.' 'I thought my savings were safe with a man who could levitate,' sobbed retired postman Dennis Pottle, 67, of Slough. 'He took my savings and my breath away.
' The fraud came to light when a disgruntled junior monk, furious at being denied access to the temple's secret stash of aged pu'er tea, tipped off authorities. Police uncovered a network of shell companies, each named after a different pressure point. The scam's allure was simple: invest in a spiritual community, receive tax breaks in this life and guaranteed good karma in the next.
'It was a win-win-win scenario,' said Pottle, who invested his life savings of £80,000. 'I didn't realise the only thing winning was the fraud.' The British Embassy has issued a warning: 'If a monk offers you a share of his temple's future profits, ask to see the accounts first.
And maybe the DBS check.' Master Liang, who was arrested during a particularly dramatic meditation pose, listened stoically as the judge sentenced him. He then attempted a flying kick at the prosecutor, proving that enlightenment is a process.
The judge, unimpressed, added two more years for 'contempt and attempted airborne assault.' The case has prompted a wider investigation into the 'kung fu economy,' a lucrative sector where Buddhist monks performing martial arts for tourists often double as property developers. 'The modern monk must be a man of many talents,' said criminology professor Zhang Wei, 'but embezzlement shouldn't be one of them.
' As for Pottle, he now spends his days picketing outside Chinese tea shops with a placard reading: 'My retirement plan was a lottery, I just didn't expect the monks to win it all.' The British government has advised anyone considering spiritual investments to 'pray first, then check the fine print.
