British tourism chiefs are eyeing a rather damp spectacle for the next World Cup. The proposal to turn Niagara Falls into a viewing platform for football matches has crossed the desk at the Treasury, and I have to say, the sound of the waterfall is not the only thing causing a ruckus. The idea is simple enough: exploit the natural grandeur of one of the world's most famous cataracts to draw in crowds during the 2026 tournament. But as anyone who has stared at a gilt yield curve for too long knows, spectacle does not pay the bills.
The plan, as leaked to the Financial Times, involves temporary seating, giant screens, and a heavy dose of British pomp. The projected cost? Some £50 million, funded partly by a tax on beer sales and a levy on souvenir ponchos. The Treasury's response, I am told, was a raised eyebrow and a muttered comment about 'opportunity cost.'
Let us be clear: I am all for market efficiency. But this scheme reeks of the sort of fiscal incontinence we have come to expect from quangos drunk on cheap credit. The local council in Niagara-on-the-Lake is already salivating at the prospect of increased tourism, but what about the infrastructure cost? The police overtime? The inevitable environmental impact assessment that will double the timeline?
The Bank of England has kept interest rates on hold, but the market is already pricing in a premium for British government bonds. If we are to waste money on a waterfall, why not just offer free tickets to Wembley? At least that would keep the capital in the country.
And what of the fans? Will they brave the mist for a group stage match between Wales and Iran? I doubt it. The novelty will wear off after the first evening session when they realise their fish and chips are sodden.
My advice to the tourism chiefs: review your spreadsheets. The bottom line is that spectators will watch football where the beer is cheap and the screens are dry. Niagara Falls is a wonder of the world, but it is no substitute for a proper pub. The only waterfall we should be worried about is the cascade of taxpayer money down the drain.
