In a development that has sent shockwaves through the fjords and rattled the teacups of Buckingham Palace, Marius Borg Høiby, the son of Norway’s Crown Princess Mette-Marit, has been hauled into custody pending a verdict on rape charges. Yes, the very same Marius who once graced the pages of Hello! magazine as the brooding stepson of the heir to the Norwegian throne.
Now he’s a guest of the state, albeit with less comfortable bedding. The British royal family, ever the connoisseurs of family drama, have reportedly been monitoring the case with the same intensity that they reserve for the outcome of the Grand National. One imagines Prince William muttering over his morning kippers, ‘Better him than us, eh, Harry?
Oh, wait.’ The case has all the trappings of a Nordic noir: a royal connection, allegations of sexual violence, and a young man whose life has been lived under the gilded microscope of public scrutiny. The only thing missing is a snow-covered landscape and a tortured detective with a fondness for whisky.
But let us not forget the victims in this sordid tale. Three women have come forward, each with accounts that paint a picture of entitlement and abuse. The court will now decide whether the crown prince’s stepson is a predator or a patsy.
Either way, the institution of monarchy has taken another hit, the latest in a series of self-inflicted wounds that have left the concept of hereditary privilege looking about as appealing as a tax audit. The British royals, who have their own history of legal scrapes and sexual scandals, are no doubt thanking their lucky stars that this particular mess is 1,000 miles away. But they’re watching.
They’re always watching, like pensioners peering through the curtains at the neighbour’s cat. For now, we await the verdict. And as we wait, let us raise a glass of cheap Norwegian aquavit to the enduring spectacle of royalty making a right royal arse of themselves.
Skål!
