In a move that even his most devoted bowl-cut enthusiasts would describe as 'a drastic step down from his music videos,' American singer Oliver Tree met his maker via a helicopter in what authorities are calling 'a tragic and completely unnecessary bit of performance art.' The news chopper, which has now become the world's most expensive and least effective musical instrument, sent Tree's body back to the US in a box that probably didn't have enough room for his signature gargoyle poses. The singer, known for his scooter-riding antics and a vocal style that sounds like a man gargling gravel while being chased by a particularly angry hornet, was reportedly attempting to one-up his own music video for 'Hurt' when the helicopter decided it had had enough of his nonsense.
Witnesses claim he was last seen screaming 'I'm not crying, I'm perspiring from the altitude!' before the chopper performed a rather convincing impression of a brick dropped from a great height. The music world has been left in a state of confusion, as nobody can quite decide if this is the most tragically ironic ending to a career that involved a lot of pretending to be sad, or just the universe's way of telling us that a bowl-cut is not a practical hairstyle for aviation.
In other news, the pilot, who is currently in critical condition, is reportedly more upset about the damage to his helicopter than the loss of a man who once described himself as 'a living meme.' The investigation continues, but early reports suggest that the crash was caused by a sudden and inexplicable desire to land in a field of flowers, presumably to get a better shot for an Instagram story. Oliver Tree was 29 years old and is survived by his scooter, several pairs of oversized trousers, and a fanbase that is currently debating whether to mourn his passing or just download his discography out of spite.
