In a scoop that has sent shockwaves through the chattering classes and caused at least three royal correspondents to choke on their cucumber sandwiches, Olivia Rodrigo has allegedly selected a wedding song while on her 'Guts' tour. Because nothing says 'eternal commitment' quite like belting out a ballad about teenage angst and betrayal, does it? The song, rumoured to be 'Traitor' (because what says 'I love you' like accusing someone of treachery?
), has sparked fevered speculation that a certain ginger-haired prince may be about to pop the question. Or perhaps she's just selecting a tune for her cat's birthday. Who knows?
The press certainly doesn't, but that won't stop them from churning out reams of drivel about weddings, tours, and the impending collapse of the monarchy. Meanwhile, somewhere, a tabloid editor is weeping tears of pure, unadulterated joy into their morning gin.
