In a development that has sent shockwaves through the Motherland's collective hangover, Ukrainian drones have reportedly peppered St Petersburg with unwelcome attention just as Vladimir Putin's flagship economic forum was pretending to be a serious affair. Yes, the same forum where oligarchs compare yacht lengths and ministers practice their 'we're definitely not in a war' faces is now a target practice range for unmanned aerial vehicles. One can only imagine the scenes: delegates diving under tables, spilling their Beluga caviar, as the buzzing of independence echoes over the Neva River.
The Kremlin's response was a masterpiece of cognitive dissonance: 'This is a provocation to undermine the forum's success.' Because nothing says 'success' like having your city buzzed by enemy drones while you're trying to sell investment opportunities to a dwindling pool of international idiots. The irony is so thick you could spread it on a propaganda poster.
These drones, likely costing less than the vodka consumed at Putin's dinner table, have achieved what years of sanctions couldn't: making St Petersburg look like a war zone while the man in the Kremlin pretends it's just a spot of trouble in the garden. As the forum continues, one wonders if the agenda includes a session on 'How to pretend you're not under attack while your ego is being drone-bombed.' Spoiler: it won't.
The only thing that will be 'forumed' is more lies, more bluster, and more gin for this correspondent, who is now on his third double in celebration of the sheer absurdity of it all. Cheers to the drone operators. They've made this circus slightly more bearable.
