In a development that has left travel journalists reaching for the smelling salts and possibly a stiff drink, Ryanair has announced a U-turn on its monstrous new seating charges. The budget carrier, famed for treating its passengers like livestock loaded onto a cargo plane piloted by a drunken badger, had recently introduced a fee for families who dared to sit together. Yes, a fee for the basic human desire to remain within arm's reach of one's own spawn while hurtling through the sky at 500 miles an hour in a pressurised metal tube.
The charge, a slap in the face to family values and common decency, was widely condemned as a cash grab of breathtaking cynicism. But now, in a move that has the British consumer watchdog practically weeping with joy, Ryanair has scrapped the charge. A victory for families, they say.
A triumph for common sense. But let us not get carried away. This is Ryanair, the airline that makes Wetherspoons look like the Ritz.
This is the same company that charges you for the privilege of breathing cabin air, that measures your hand luggage with the grim satisfaction of a prison guard. So their sudden change of heart is less a conversion on the road to Damascus and more a cynical recalculation of the bottom line. Perhaps they realised that the PR damage outweighed the petty cash from the seat surcharge.
Perhaps the threat of a consumer boycott finally reached the boardroom, where jowly men sat around a table, sweating over spreadsheets. But let us pretend, for a moment, that this is a genuine victory. Let us raise a glass of bad airport gin to the British consumer watchdog, that noble institution that fights tirelessly for the right to not be treated like a slab of meat.
And let us hope that this is the first of many such U-turns. Could Universal Basic Seating be far behind? Could free peanuts be on the horizon?
No, probably not. This is Ryanair. But for now, let us savour this small, strange, almost human moment of decency.
And then let us book our flights before they change their minds again.
