Mogadishu, a city that has seen more lead than a Victorian pencil factory, is once again playing host to the theatre of democracy. The UK embassy, that bastion of colonial concern, has issued a stark warning to its citizens: stay indoors, the neighbours are having another 'political disagreement'. Allegedly, the gunfire is the soundtrack to an election dispute, as if anyone expected a peaceful transfer of power in a country where the ballot box is often more dangerous than a suicide vest.
Let us examine this 'election dispute'. In civilised nations, a disputed election means lawyers, recounts, and a lot of hand-wringing on CNN. Here, it means rival factions venting their frustrations through the medium of automatic weaponry. It is democracy, Somali style. The UK embassy, ever the voice of reason, has decided that the best course of action is to tell its citizens to 'remain vigilant'. This is diplomatic code for 'we have no idea what to do, so stay put and pray to whatever god you believe in'.
I suspect the real dispute is not about who gets to sit in a fancy chair but rather who gets the largest slice of the international aid pie. Somalia, a country that has been failed by everyone including itself, is now a playground for warlords dressed in business suits. The gunfire is merely the sound of business as usual.
The international community will tut, issue condemnations, and perhaps send a few more peacekeepers who will promptly get lost in the labyrinthine politics of the Horn of Africa. Meanwhile, the citizens of Mogadishu will huddle in their homes, hoping that the bullets find the politicians instead of their children.
I would write more, but I need to check my gin supply. It seems a long night ahead.
