In a development so predictable it could have been written by a clairvoyant with a grudge against humanity, the United Kingdom has taken the lead in demanding that Sudan’s Rapid Support Forces (RSF) be referred to the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity. Because nothing says ‘leadership’ like arriving at the obvious conclusion after the bodies have been piling up for months.
Let us, for a moment, dissect the nomenclature. ‘Rapid Support Forces.’ One imagines a group of speedy social workers, perhaps with jetpacks, racing to deliver soup to the elderly. The reality, as the British government has now belatedly realised, is closer to a mob of jackals in paramilitary fatigues, with a predilection for ethnic cleansing that would make even the most jaded war criminal blush.
Yes, the evidence has been mounting like gin bottles in my own personal recycling bin. Testimonies of mass rape, indiscriminate shelling of civilian areas, and a general disregard for the Geneva Conventions that borders on artistic. But it took a coalition of the willing (read: countries who felt a bit guilty about their colonial past) to finally make a stand. Bravo.
The UK’s Foreign Office has issued a statement so laden with diplomatic phrasing it could cure insomnia. ‘Grave concern.’ ‘Utmost seriousness.’ ‘Unwavering commitment to international justice.’ All the hallmarks of a government that would rather be discussing trade deals but is forced to pretend it cares about dead civilians.
Now, the RSF’s reaction? Predictably, they have denied everything, claiming that the reports are ‘baseless allegations’ propagated by their rivals. One expects them to blame the helicopters next. Or perhaps the weather. After all, it is terribly hard to commit crimes against humanity when it is so hot.
But let us not forget the backdrop: Sudan, a country that has been torn apart by civil war for longer than some of my journalists colleagues have been alive. A conflict so complex that even the participants seem confused about who is fighting whom and why. Into this mess wades the UK, brandishing the ICC like a righteous sword, though one suspects the blade is somewhat rusty from lack of use.
The question now is: will the ICC actually do anything? Or will it be another toothless gesture, like a bouncer without arms at a nightclub? The ICC has a history of taking years to issue warrants that are never enforced, while the accused continue to live high on the hog in some friendly nation. One hopes for a different outcome, but hope is a luxury I cannot afford on my expense account.
In the meantime, the bodies continue to pile up in Darfur, in Khartoum, in villages too small to make the evening news. And while the UK government pats itself on the back for its moral leadership, the RSF’s commanders are probably laughing all the way to their next massacre.
But I digress. I am but a humble satirical correspondent, paid to mock the powerful and inflame the public. And yet, there are moments when even my cynicism feels inadequate. This is one of them. So raise a glass of the good stuff (or, in my case, any stuff), and toast to justice. It is, after all, a charming concept. Too bad it is allergic to reality.
