In a tale that reads like a fever dream penned by a gin-soaked Graham Greene, an Australian citizen has been charged with the murder of a young woman whose remains were discovered, rather unceremoniously, inside a suitcase in Thailand. The victim, a 12 year old girl, has been identified as a Thai national, and the suspect, a 34 year old man from Down Under, now finds himself in the sticky embrace of Thai justice. The British government, in a display of diplomatic muscle, has offered consular support, presumably to ensure the accused gets a fair trial and a decent cup of tea while awaiting his date with destiny.
Details are as murky as a Bangkok klong at low tide. The suitcase, a nondescript piece of luggage, was found in a remote area, leading to a police investigation that uncovered a web of deceit, travel records, and a suspect who allegedly fled the scene like a startled water buffalo. The suspect, whose name is being withheld for legal reasons (or perhaps because it's unpronounceable), was arrested in Cambodia and extradited to Thailand, where he now sits, contemplating the error of his ways, assuming he's not busy complaining about the quality of the pad thai.
This is a grisly business, even by the standards of a country that has seen its fair share of backpacker horrors. The British embassy, ever eager to be seen doing something, has stepped in with offers of assistance, perhaps to ensure the suspect doesn't suffer the indignity of a substandard solicitor. One can only hope they'll also advise him on the appropriate way to address a Thai judge, which I believe involves a wai and a sincere apology for any inconvenience caused.
As the world watches this tragicomedy unfold, one cannot help but marvel at the absurdity of it all. An Australian, a suitcase, a dead girl, and the British government offering tea and sympathy. It's enough to make you want to down a stiff gin and tonic and ponder the glorious, grotesque mess that is modern humanity. The suspect will now face the full force of Thai law, which, unlike British justice, has a rather more direct approach to sentencing. Let's hope he enjoys his last few moments of freedom, because soon he'll be swapping his flip-flops for prison issue slippers, and the only suitcase he'll be seeing is the one they carry him out in.
