In a case that has left even the most jaded scandal-hounds slack-jawed, a Swedish man has been banged up for compelling his wife to engage in sexual congress with 120 men. That’s not a typo. One hundred and twenty. The man, a veritable Willy Wonka of woe, ran a grotesque production line of degradation, and now the UK is clapping Sweden on the back for its ‘robust’ justice system. Because nothing says ‘robust’ like a country that can actually prosecute a crime so depraved it makes Caligula look like a choirboy.
The details, as they emerged from a Stockholm courtroom, are the stuff of a particularly grim fever dream. The husband, whose name is being withheld to protect his face from a well-deserved pounding, forced his wife to advertise her services online, then sat back and watched as a parade of men filed through their marital bed. The wife, a woman of saintly patience or sheer terror, finally broke her silence, and the Swedish legal system creaked into action. The result: a prison sentence that, while undoubtedly welcome, feels like a slap on the wrist with a wet haddock for such a monumental breach of human decency.
And here’s where the British establishment wades in, polishing its knighthoods. Home Office sources muttered darkly about ‘lessons to be learned’ and ‘cross-border cooperation,’ while tabloid columnists penned paeans to Nordic judicial rigour. ‘Sweden shows us how it’s done,’ they crowed, conveniently forgetting that this happened in the first place. The irony is so thick you could spread it on toast. The UK, a nation where domestic violence cases are still treated as a bit of a hoo-ha, suddenly finds itself an expert on justice. The same UK where, earlier this year, a man who filmed himself raping a woman was let off with a suspended sentence because the judge thought he had ‘good prospects.’
Let’s be clear: the Swedish man deserves to rot. His sentence, a few years in a comfortable Scandinavian prison with access to saunas and flat-pack furniture, is a travesty, but at least it’s something. The real scandal is the British media’s sanctimonious pearl-clutching. We’re like a drunkard at a wedding, toasting the teetotaller. ‘Look how well Sweden handles its monsters!’ we cry, while our own monsters roam free, their victims left to drown in a system that runs on budget cuts and indifference.
This case is a mirror, and it doesn’t flatter. The wife, after enduring 120 violations, will spend the rest of her life rebuilding her soul. The husband will spend a few years watching Swedish television. And the UK will spend the next week feeling smug about a foreign country’s legal system, then move on to the next outrage. The cycle continues, a carousel of horror and hypocrisy. So, by all means, hail the robust Nordic justice. But remember: the bar is so low it’s subterranean. And the UK isn’t even limboing under it; it’s standing on a chair, pretending to measure the height.
