So the son of Norway’s crown prince, Marius Borg Høiby, has been handed a rape verdict. A sad, squalid affair. The details are grim, but the broader tableau is what interests me. Another European royal family – or quasi-royal, as the Norwegians insist on their egalitarian pretensions – dragged through the mud. The contrast with our own monarchy could not be starker. While the House of Windsor holds itself to a standard of dignified discretion (with the occasional stumble, I concede), the continent’s blue bloods seem determined to prove that decadence is not merely a French invention.
Let us first note the facts. Høiby, 27, stepson of Crown Prince Haakon, was convicted of rape against a woman who was unconscious. He denies it, but the court ruled otherwise. This follows a litany of other allegations – violence, threats, a general pattern of brutish entitlement. The Norwegian press, always eager to cut down the tall poppies, has feasted. The monarchy, already on shaky ground in a country that prides itself on socialist rectitude, now faces another crisis of confidence. One wonders how much longer the Norwegian people will tolerate a hereditary privilege that so often produces spoiled heirs.
But what of Britain? Here, I must strut a little. The Queen’s death last year – and the King’s quiet, statesmanlike accession – has reinforced a certain stability. Yes, there are scandals. Prince Andrew still haunts us. But the institution adapts. It maintains a rule of law, a separation from the gutter press that other European royals seem to crave. The Duke of Edinburgh, in his old age, was a model of irascible duty. The Prince of Wales, with his environmental sermons, at least tries to be useful. There is a redemptive arc to the British monarchy; it learns from its mistakes. The Norwegians, with their half-hearted attempts at modernity, have produced a prince’s son who is a thug.
I am aware that this sounds like old-fashioned chauvinism. Perhaps it is. But consider the wider European canvas. In Spain, King Juan Carlos went into exile after corruption allegations. The Dutch have had their own royal imbroglios. The Belgians are practically comical in their internecine squabbles. Only the British, and perhaps the Danes, seem to have kept a sense of proportion. The Danish queen, Margrethe, is a chain-smoking intellectual who has stripped her grandchildren of titles in a bid to slim down the firm. Practical. unsentimental. The Norwegians, by contrast, allowed a woman with a drug-dealing boyfriend to marry the heir. Now they reap the harvest.
But let us not be too smug. The Høiby case is a warning to all thrones. When privilege is untethered from duty, you get monsters. The British monarchy has survived because it learned, perhaps after the abdication crisis, that the crown must earn its keep. The Norwegians, with their cheap republicanism lurking beneath the surface, are now learning the hard way. They will either reform or collapse. My money is on collapse, given the Norwegian appetite for self-flagellation.
So what shall we say to our European cousins? Perhaps this: temper your egalitarianism with a little respect for the past. Or else you will end up with princes’ sons in the dock, and a public that has lost all patience. The British monarchy, for all its flaws, still commands. It is a lesson in the art of dignified survival. The Norwegians should take notes.
