News reaches us that a gaggle of British surfers has descended upon Mexico City to attempt a wave record. Not in the Pacific, not on the coast, but in an artificial wave pool miles from the ocean. And what do they bring with them?
According to reports, they bring ‘higher safety standards.’ The implication is clear: we British, with our stiff upper lips and queuing discipline, must teach the world how to behave even when hurtling across a sheet of water. This is the kind of colonial paternalism that makes one long for the Roman Empire, where at least they built things that lasted.
Let us not forget that the same nation that produced Captain Cook and Cecil Rhodes now imposes safety briefings on Mexican wave riders. Perhaps they should focus on the crumbling infrastructure of their own seaside towns instead. The irony is almost as deep as the wave pool itself.
But then again, we live in an age of intellectual decadence, where the grand gestures of our ancestors have been replaced by the petty moralising of health and safety zealots. If you want to see the decline of the West, look no further than a British surfer in Mexico City, lecturing locals on the proper way to fall off a surfboard. It is a farce, and we are all drowning in it.
