This is what happens when you let Eurocrats design the safety protocols for a carnival. Seventeen people, mostly British tourists, were injured when a tourist train overturned at a festival in Spain. Naturally, the UK is now demanding stricter EU safety standards.
How rich. The same body that gave us the edible insect directive and the bendy banana regulation is now going to lecture us on train safety. I suppose we should be grateful they haven't yet demanded that all festival rides be equipped with a 'carbon footprint calculator' or a 'gender-neutral queue system.
' The incident occurred in the town of Alcalá de Henares, where a mini-train, a staple of local fiestas, flipped over while navigating a sharp turn. Witnesses described chaos: children crying, parents screaming, and the ominous smell of sangria mingling with rubber. The UK's foreign office, ever vigilant of their subjects' safety, rushed to demand a 'thorough investigation' and 'enhanced EU-wide safety measures.
' But let us be honest. The EU has always been better at issuing press releases than preventing disasters. Remember the 2016 Anders Breivik-inspired terror attack in Nice?
The Schengen border controls were tighter on a tube of toothpaste than on jihadists. And now we are supposed to trust them with rollercoasters? The real problem is not the EU's safety standards, but the EU's safety culture.
They have replaced common sense with bureaucracy. Instead of ensuring that drivers are sober and tracks maintained, they will mandate that train operators undergo 200 hours of sensitivity training and publish a diversity impact assessment for each ride. Meanwhile, the victims will be shipped home in body bags.
The British government's sudden enthusiasm for EU safety oversight is also revealing. After Brexit, they could not wait to escape the 'Brussels straitjacket.' But now, when a train crashes at a Spanish fiesta, they want the EU to tighten the screws.
It is the same hypocrisy that saw them demand tighter border controls after Channel migrant deaths while simultaneously opposing the very EU funding that could prevent them. The truth is, accidents happen. They happen in cowboy states and EU paradises alike.
The wise accept this. The foolish write regulations. And the very foolish, like our current government, do both poorly.
The only safety standard that matters is human vigilance, not technocratic fiat. But that would require the EU to admit that its vaunted safety regime is a Potemkin village. They will not.
Instead, they will set up a task force, issue a report, and call for a 'harmonised EU ride safety certification.' Watch. And the British will applaud, as if a Brussels-mandated sticker would have prevented this.
It will not. It will just raise the cost of festivals, drive more businesses under, and provide more employment for safety consultants. The victims, as always, are the ones who paid the price for our collective delusion.
Let us hope they recover. But let us not pretend that a new EU directive would make them any safer. It would only make the bureaucrats feel better.
