The White House is in a lather. Donald Trump has ordered emergency repairs to the Reflecting Pool, that iconic stretch of water between the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument. Algae has turned it into a murky green soup. The pool is a national embarrassment, the President fumed. He wants it sorted. Fast.
Here is the twist. UK heritage experts have been drafted in to advise. That is right, British boffins from the National Trust and Historic England are jetting over to help. The pool is not just any pond. It is a symbol of American democracy. And it is turning into a swamp. Trump hates that.
The advice? Don't drain it. Don't bleach it. Use ultrasonic algae control. The same tech used in the Palace of Westminster's ponds. The Brits are keen to showcase their expertise. A quiet bit of soft power. Whitehall sources say the offer was made weeks ago. Now it has been accepted.
But watch the politics. Trump is under pressure. Polls show his base is restless. They want results. The Reflecting Pool is a visible sign of decay. Fixing it is a quick win. And it shows he can get things done, even if it means calling in the Limeys.
Downing Street is delighted. A chance to strengthen the special relationship without getting dragged into a trade war. Boris Johnson's team see this as a win-win. Heritage experts get a global stage. The US gets a fix. And the pool gets a clean bill of health.
But there is grumbling. Some GOP hardliners question why British experts are needed. Can't American scientists handle algae? The White House has brushed that aside. This is about getting the job done. No time for egos.
One source inside the National Trust told me: "We have dealt with centuries of green slime. This is what we do." The advice is practical. Install ultrasonic transmitters. Use barley straw bales for natural algae control. Introduce enzyme treatments. All eco-friendly. No harsh chemicals.
The cost is negligible. A few thousand pounds. The US National Park Service will foot the bill. But the political capital is huge. Trump gets to appear decisive. The UK gets a goodwill gesture. And the algae dies.
Expect the work to begin within days. The pool will be closed. Tourists will have to wait. But by the 4th of July, it could be gleaming again. Trump wants that photo-op.
Meanwhile, Labour MP Chris Bryant has asked a parliamentary question about the advice. Is it appropriate for UK experts to assist a foreign president with what he calls a "vanity project"? The Foreign Office has batted it away. It is cultural diplomacy, they say. Non-controversial.
But nothing in Trump's orbit is non-controversial. The backlash is brewing. Environmental groups worry about the impact on wildlife. The waterfowl, the fish. The calm water is a habitat. The Green Party in the US has called the plan "eco-colonialism." That is a new angle.
The British team is unruffled. They know their stuff. They have dealt with the Grand Union Canal. They have restored the Serpentine. The Reflecting Pool is just another pond. But in Washington, every puddle is a political minefield.
One thing is certain. When the pool gleams again, Trump will take the credit. And the UK will be mentioned in the small print. That is the game. Everyone wins. Except the algae.
