In a development that has shocked precisely no one with a working memory of the past 40 years, two people were reportedly killed as women took to the streets in Afghanistan for a rare protest against the Taliban's latest bout of theatrical misogyny. The UK, ever the concerned uncle who sends a strongly worded card but never shows up for Christmas, has called for 'protection of civilians'. Oh bravo, chaps. That'll put the kettle on.
The protest, which saw a handful of brave souls—women, no less—daring to demand the right to exist in public, was met with the Taliban's standard response: bullets. Because in their world, a woman's voice is a threat and a bullet is a rebuttal. The UK's response? A Foreign Office statement that practically reeked of chamomile and moral exhaustion. 'We are deeply concerned,' they said, which is diplomatic code for 'We will be deeply concerned until the news cycle moves on, then we'll be deeply concerned about something else.'
Let us not mince words: this is a massacre. A massacre of the already oppressed. A massacre of women who, by daring to walk outside without a male chaperone, committed the crime of existing. And what does the UK do? It issues a press release. It calls for 'restraint'. It might as well send a strongly worded letter to the Ministry of Virtue and Vice in Kabul, stamped with a royal crest and sealed with a tear.
But let's not be too hard on our British overlords. They're busy. They have Brexit to untangle, a cost of living crisis to half-heartedly address, and a prime minister who changes faster than a London bus timetable. They cannot possibly be expected to actually do anything about, say, the systematic erasure of women's rights in a country they invaded, occupied, then abandoned like a half-eaten bag of crisps. That would be inconvenient.
Meanwhile, the women of Afghanistan continue to die. They die for wanting an education. They die for wanting a job. They die for wanting to breathe the same air as men. And we, the comfortable West, offer them our thoughts, our prayers, and our hashtags. We retweet their suffering, because that's easier than lifting a finger to stop it.
The Taliban, of course, will deny everything. They'll call the protest a 'foreign conspiracy' or 'an act of immorality' or whatever script their handlers in the intelligence services have written. And the world will tut, sanction a few low-level officials, and move on to the next outrage.
But here's the rub: these women are not statistics. They are not 'collateral damage' or 'sad news from abroad'. They are human beings with dreams and families and the right to live free from the tyranny of men who can't handle a raised eyebrow. And they are dying. Right now. While you read this. And the UK? The UK is calling for protection. From a safe distance. Over a cup of tea.
So raise your glass, Britain. Raise it to the women who dared to walk, who dared to speak, who dared to live. And then do absolutely nothing. Because that's what we do best. We wring our hands. We tut. We move on. And Afghanistan burns.
