Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your monocles and strap in your stiff upper lips, for we have a tale of two hypocrisies dancing a tango on the grave of press freedom. In the left corner, weighing in with a surplus of khaki and a deficit of democratic instinct, Uganda’s army chief General Muhoozi Kainerugaba has, with the subtlety of a rhino in a china shop, shut down two of the nation’s leading media outlets. The Daily Monitor and The Observer, having committed the heinous crime of reporting on the general’s rather colourful online rants about invading Kenya and his admiration for Hitler, have been closed.
The general, who tweets with the reckless abandon of a drunken sailor, has decided that the best way to handle criticism is to eliminate the critics. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for him. Meanwhile, in the right corner, Britain, the once and future empire of double standards, has issued a statement expressing deep concern and reminding everyone of its unwavering support for press freedom worldwide.
This from a government that has been waging a quiet war on journalism at home, with its own press freedom rankings slipping faster than a greased pig. The British Foreign Office, in a fit of righteous indignation, has called for the immediate reopening of the outlets, demanding that Uganda respect the fundamental right to a free press. It’s a beautiful sentiment, marred only by the fact that Britain itself has been busy passing laws that criminalise reporting on certain national security matters, deporting journalists for publishing leaks, and generally acting like a petulant child who doesn’t like being told what to do.
But oh, the irony is thick enough to spread on toast. While Britain preaches from its glass house, its own journalistic foundations are cracking under the weight of governmental pressure and public indifference. The BBC, once the gold standard of impartiality, now finds itself in a constant state of defensive crouch, fending off accusations of bias from all sides.
And let’s not forget the recent fiasco where British police arrested journalists for reporting on the activities of a proscribed group. Yes, nothing says ‘defending press freedom’ like handcuffing a reporter outside his own home. But I digress.
The real story here is the sheer theatre of it all. General Kainerugaba, a man who apparently believes that the best way to deal with negative press is to silence it, is a thug in uniform. Britain, a country that has perfected the art of moralising while its hands are deep in the pockets of arms dealers and oil companies, is a bully in a suit.
The two of them together are a perfect comedy of errors. It’s like watching two bald men fight over a comb. Or a session of parliament.
Meanwhile, the journalists of Uganda are left without a platform, their voices strangled by a general who tweets more than a teenager and has the emotional maturity of one. The readers are left in the dark, their only source of information now state-owned propaganda outlets that sing the praises of the regime. And in Britain, the government continues its slow, insidious erosion of the very freedoms it claims to champion abroad.
It’s enough to drive a man to drink. Fortunately, I have a ready supply of gin. So here’s to press freedom.
Long may it be defended, especially when it’s inconvenient. And to the journalists of Uganda: keep writing, keep fighting. The world is watching, even if their governments are not.
But please, do try to stay out of jail. It’s hell on the expense account.
