In a stunning display of altruistic tidiness that has sent shockwaves through the global conscience, Japanese football supporters have once again remained behind after the final whistle to bag up their own litter, thus proving that the Land of the Rising Sun has cornered the market on both exquisite manners and deeply repressed emotional turmoil. Meanwhile, a coalition of Japanese women have dared to break the sacred silence of domestic servitude to suggest, with a tremble in their voice, that perhaps the same reverential cleaning of living spaces could be extended to their own homes, rather than leaving them to scrub the skid marks off the nation's collective underpants. The irony, as thick as congealed yakitori sauce, has not been lost on anyone with a pulse and a passing familiarity with the patriarchy.
For decades, Japanese men have been celebrated for their civic duty, wiping down railings and organising their rubbish into seventeen categories while their wives toil away in the kitchen, invisible to the camera crews. Now, the women have spoken, not with a shout but with a polite, tear-stained whisper, and the internet, that great arbiter of justice, has exploded into a frenzy of hashtags and hot takes. But let us not get carried away, for this is a call for the sort of change that terrifies bureaucrats and sends shockwaves through the tea ceremonies of the elite.
The women are not asking for the moon, merely a mop. They want their husbands to see the overflowing bin and feel a flicker of responsibility, to experience the same sense of communal pride that grips them when they polish a goalpost. It is a modest demand, yet it threatens to topple a thousand years of tradition.
Should the men comply, they may find that the fabric of Japanese society, woven so tightly with duty and shame, begins to fray. For if they pick up a duster at home, who will be left to sweep the stadiums and keep the national image spotless? The cameras will turn elsewhere, seeking the next viral act of superficial decency.
Japanese women have spoken, and the world watches, waiting to see if the men will finally put down the litter picker and pick up the vacuum cleaner. But do not hold your breath, for change is a slow poison, and the patriarchy is a stubborn stain. As one brave woman wrote on Twitter, 'I am tired of cleaning up after a man who can organise a recycling bin but cannot find the dishwasher.
' Her words, sharp as a sushi knife, have pierced the global conversation, but will they penetrate the thick skull of tradition? Only time, and perhaps a few more viral videos, will tell.
