The ground beneath Venezuela has finally stopped shaking, but the tremors in Whitehall are only just beginning. The death toll has reached 920, a figure that has prompted the British government to ready a humanitarian response. One almost expects Boris Johnson to parachute in with a first aid kit and a bottle of something strong.
The Foreign Office, in a display of bureaucratic efficiency rarely seen outside of a dream sequence, has announced a £5 million aid package. That's roughly the cost of three ministerial Jaguars and a year's supply of gentleman's relish. Meanwhile, the Venezuelan government, whose grasp on reality has always been a bit shaky, has declared the earthquake a 'capitalist plot' and blamed it on 'imperialist fracking'.
One can't help but admire their commitment to narrative consistency. The international community, as ever, is wringing its hands and scheduling emergency meetings. The UN will convene a special session, followed by a tea break, followed by a working group, followed by a subcommittee, followed by a vague press release.
By then, the victims will have either recovered or be too dead to care. And so the circus continues. The earth moves, the politicians shuffle, and the rest of us are left wondering if the gin has gone off.
