In a move that has left art critics reaching for their smelling salts and their dictionaries of superlatives, the United States has unveiled its latest cultural contribution: a freshly painted Reflecting Pool on the National Mall. Yes, you read that correctly. The National Park Service, in a fit of bureaucratic genius, decided that the iconic pool, famed for its murky waters and profound mediocrity, needed a lick of paint. Not a restoration, not a cleaning, but a paint job. Because nothing says ‘democracy’ like a coat of Dulux Weathershield in ‘Pond Life Grey’.
The absurdity of the situation was not lost on the international community. While the US faffs about with paint rollers, British artists are busy winning actual accolades. The Turner Prize, the Oscars of the art world for those who haven’t checked their cultural privilege lately, has once again gone to a UK artist. This year’s winner, a chap named Jeremy who constructs immersive installations from discarded teabags and existential dread, was praised for his ‘profound commentary on the human condition’. Meanwhile, Washington’s finest are patting themselves on the back for a job that a toddler with a crayon could have accomplished.
Let us dwell for a moment on the sheer, unadulterated chutzpah of this decision. The Reflecting Pool, that hallowed stretch of water that separates the Lincoln Memorial from the Washington Monument, has long been a symbol of American aspiration. It is a place where Martin Luther King Jr. gave his ‘I Have a Dream’ speech, where millions have gathered to protest and celebrate and weep. And now, it is a place where the government has decided that the best way to honour its history is to give it a fresh coat of paint. Not to address the algae, not to fix the leaks, but to paint over the problem like a desperate landlord covering up damp before a viewing.
The reaction from across the pond has been predictably smug. The British press, never ones to miss an opportunity to tut at American philistinism, have been having a field day. ‘US art scene in crisis as nation opts for paint-by-numbers approach’, one headline screamed. Another, more cuttingly, observed: ‘Washington’s Reflecting Pool: Now with 100% more artificial sheen, 0% more soul.’ The irony is as thick as the paint itself. Here is a country that prides itself on innovation and creativity, reduced to painting a pond because the real thing was too complicated to maintain.
But let us not be too harsh. Perhaps this is a metaphor for our times. The United States, a superpower in decline, slapping a superficial fix on a systemic problem while the rest of the world watches in bemused horror. The UK, meanwhile, continues to produce art that challenges, that provokes, that makes you think about your place in the universe. Or at least makes you wonder if you’ve got any PG Tips in the cupboard.
What next, one wonders? A repaint of the Grand Canyon? A fresh coat of emulsion for the Mississippi River? The possibilities are endless when reality is optional. And as the sun sets on the newly-blue Reflecting Pool, one can almost hear the collective sigh of a nation that has officially given up on substance in favour of appearance. But never mind, chaps. At least it matches the White House curtains.
