In breaking news that will shock precisely no one who has been paying attention since, oh, roughly 1948, Israeli troops have allegedly killed two individuals in south Lebanon. The Foreign Office, or as I call it, the Ministry of Gentlemen Who Fret Over Canapes, has issued a grave warning about the escalating situation. Because nothing says 'we're taking this seriously' like a sternly worded memo from a man whose trousers are pressed to a knife-edge.
The dead, as always, are reduced to statistics. The living, as always, are left to clutch their grief like a tattered flag. Meanwhile, the machinery of state grinds on: tanks roll, diplomats drone, and somewhere, a defence contractor is buying a third holiday home.
The Middle East crisis is not escalating, dear reader. It has been escalading for decades. This is merely the latest lift.
My gin glass is half full, though only because I just refilled it. Cheers to the dead. May their silence shame the living.









