In a development that has sent ripples of dark mirth through the chattering classes, a British paraglider has met his maker on the slopes of Spain, prompting the Foreign Office to issue a travel warning that essentially translates to 'stop flinging yourselves off cliffs, you absolute helmets.' The unnamed thrill-seeker, who clearly mistook gravity for a suggestion, was reportedly soaring over the Spanish countryside when his parachute decided to pursue a career in landscaping. He hit the deck with the enthusiasm of a dropped piano.
The Foreign Office, in a statement so devoid of irony it could be mistaken for a cucumber sandwich, said they were 'supporting the family' and advising British nationals to 'exercise caution' when engaging in aerial misadventures. No word on whether they'll be issuing a similar warning for the consumption of cheap sangria, which statistically claims more British lives annually. This latest tragedy comes hot on the heels of a spate of incidents involving Britons abroad, from getting lost on the way to the loo to attempting to befriend local wildlife.
The Spanish authorities have confirmed that the paraglider was not, as initially feared, a rogue hedge fund manager fleeing his creditors. In related news, the gin industry has reported a slight uptick in sales, as the rest of us toast to our own grim survival.
