In a shocking turn of events that has left wildlife experts and industrial safety inspectors equally baffled, a bear launched a ferocious assault on a hapless steelworker at a Japanese mill. The incident, captured on shaky mobile phone footage, shows the worker fleeing in terror as the ursine antagonist gives chase, swiping at the air with claws that could rend steel itself. Witnesses report the bear, later identified as a particularly grumpy Asiatic black bear, had reportedly broken into the facility after smelling the tantalising aroma of teriyaki sauce.
'He was looking for his lunch, and he found our man,' said a spokesperson, who then asked for his cheque and a stiff drink. The attack raises serious questions about the state of industrial security, or indeed the mental state of anyone who thinks a bear would be put off by a few warning signs and a fence. 'We are reviewing our protocols,' blustered a company executive, 'and perhaps offering bear-awareness courses.
' The worker, whose name has been redacted for fear of bear-related reprisals, is said to be in stable condition, though he will likely never look at a friendly-looking hiker the same way again. This is truly a wake-up call for the steel industry, which has until now enjoyed a relatively bruin-free safety record. One cannot help but wonder: if a bear can stroll into a steel works, what other natural calamities lurk in our industrial estates?
A pack of wolves in the car park? A badger in the break room? The only thing certain is that nowhere is safe from the tooth-and-claw reality of modern life.
I, for one, will be looking over my shoulder for furry assailants on the way to the pub.
