Bogotá is bracing for a political circus that would make a baboon in a top hat look presidential. Yes, dear readers, Colombia is heading to the polls, and the result will supposedly 'redefine US ties' while Britain performs its customary fawning over the 'Special Relationship' like a desperate suitor at a singles bar. The candidates are promising everything from green new deals to cracking down on cocaine with the ferocity of a nun discovering a distillery.
But let's not kid ourselves: this election is a dance of the geopolitically desperate. The US wants to keep its backyard tidy, Britain wants to look relevant, and Colombia just wants to avoid becoming a narco-state with better coffee. The whole affair is a pantomime of power, a tango of testosterone and Tweets.
I'll be reporting from a Bogotá bar, gin in hand, watching the fallout with the glee of a fox in a henhouse.
