Canberra is crying out for help. And London is listening. A catastrophic mouse plague is ravaging farms across New South Wales and Queensland. Grain silos are infested. Hay bales are crawling. Farmers are burning their own harvests in desperation.
The scale is biblical. Think swarms of rodents, millions strong. They chew through wiring, contaminate feed, and spread disease. The psychological toll is immense. Some growers have reported suicide hotline call increases.
Enter the British. A quiet delegation from the National Pest Advisory Panel has been in contact with the Australian Department of Agriculture. Sources tell me the offer is technical expertise. Our boffins know rodent behaviour. They have containment strategies honed from decades of dealing with our own vermin.
But this is also political. Boris Johnson is keen to show post-Brexit Britain can project soft power. Downing Street sees an opportunity. A trade deal with Australia is on the table. A bit of pest control goodwill could oil the wheels. It’s not cynical. It’s statesmanship.
The sticking point? Baiting. Australian authorities are wary of widespread poison use due to environmental concerns. The British approach advocates targeted dosing and biological controls. It’s a harder sell to farmers who want immediate relief.
Watch for an announcement within the fortnight. The cabinet office is smoothing the press lines. I’m told a joint taskforce is being formed. This is not a done deal. But the mood in Whitehall is bullish. One insider told me: “We have the science. They have the plague. Let’s make it work.”
For the farmers, any help can’t come soon enough. The mice are breeding faster than they can be killed. A female can produce a litter every three weeks. The plague is predicted to last until winter kills them off. That’s months away.
Why does this matter to you? Because food prices. Australia is a major wheat and canola exporter. Global supply chains are fragile. A ruined harvest down under could hit your grocery bill. Plus, the optics are good: Britain saving the world from mice. It plays well in the red wall.
I’ll be tracking this one. The lobby is buzzing. There’s a dinner tonight at the Farmers Club. I’ll report what I hear.
Stay with me.
