Uber has dropped its annual lost and found index. It is a treasure trove of British eccentricity. A butterfly. Breast milk. A prosthetic leg. These are just the highlights. The report is a window into the chaos of the modern commute. It is also a PR gift. The company knows its riders are messy. They lean into it.
Westminster is not amused. These are the same people who lose their Oyster cards and blame the tube. But the data tells a story. One in five Brits admit to leaving something in an Uber. The most common? Phones. Followed by wallets. The oddities are the headline grabbers. A mobility scooter. A wedding dress. A goldfish. Yes, a goldfish.
Insiders say the list is carefully curated. It humanises a brand often criticised for its gig economy model. Uber’s lobbyists will be briefing this to MPs tomorrow. It softens the image. It makes you think of forgotten butterflies instead of driver pay. Clever.
The lost items are a metaphor for the Uber experience. Transient. Chaotic. Occasionally bizarre. Backbenchers will ask questions. Have you lost anything valuable to Uber? The answer is usually trust. But that is not on the list.
The most shocking entry? A set of false teeth. Someone left their teeth in a car. Imagine that call to the dentist. Or the bra. Nine bras. Who leaves their bra? Westminster women know the struggle of a late-night Uber after a reception. But still.
Uber is safe. The lost items list is a distraction. It makes people laugh. It makes them forget the driver shortage. The surge pricing. The regulatory battles. The prime minister’s driver is probably reading it while waiting outside Number 10.
The real story is what is not on the list. Trust. Safety. Accountability. But that does not get clicks. A butterfly does. So does breast milk. Uber knows its audience. They are giving the public what they want. A laugh at someone else’s expense.
For now, the lost items list is the news. Tomorrow, it will be something else. But the message is clear. We are all chaotic. We all lose things. Uber is just keeping track. And using it to their advantage.
The game continues. The butterflies are free. The rest is politics.
