In a development that has shattered the very concept of déjà vu, two sets of identical twins have tied the knot in Nigeria, swapping partners with the precision of a particularly chaotic game of musical chairs. The quadruple ceremony, which took place in Lagos, has been hailed by the British consulate as a 'heartwarming display of unity' within the Commonwealth, presumably because nothing says 'shared values' quite like marrying your own reflection's boyfriend.
The brides, Blessing and Favour (yes, really), and the grooms, David and Daniel, reportedly met at a twin convention where they discovered that swapping sisters was marginally less incestuous than it sounds. 'We just clicked,' said one couple, though whether they were referring to sibling harmony or the sound of their chromosomes colliding remains unclear.
The British consulate, doubtless thrilled to find any positive news emerging from the Commonwealth these days, issued a statement praising the marriage as a 'beautiful symbol of the bonds that unite us all.' One can only assume they were referring to the bonds of genetic aberration and the shared struggle of explaining your family tree to a confused immigration officer.
As the newlyweds embark on their honeymoon – a joint trip to a remote island where they can confuse each other in peace – this correspondent can only hope that their marital disputes are settled by flipping a coin, since any attempt at pointing fingers would result in a terrifying hall of mirrors standoff.
In the end, this story is a testament to the fact that love conquers all. Especially when your partner looks exactly like your sibling. And your spouse. And basically everyone at the dinner table. The Commonwealth has never looked more united, or more in need of a good DNA test.
