GENEVA, SWITZERLAND. In a move that has sent tremors through the collective sphincters of Westminster, the Swiss are to vote on whether to slam the brakes on population growth at a piffling ten million souls. That is ten million. For a country that currently hosts about 8.7 million people, this is not a ludicrous proposition. It is, however, an affront to the holy gospel of Growth, that sacred cow before which all sensible politicians must genuflect.
Let me paint you a picture. The Swiss. Fondue. Cuckoo clocks. Banks that probably have your offshore savings tucked away in a numbered account. And now, a referendum on whether to tell the rest of the world, 'Sorry, we're full.' The initiative, brought by the environmentalist Ecopop movement (which sounds like a band of angry gnomes in hemp sandals but is, in fact, a political group), would limit net immigration and cap the population at ten million. A modest proposal, no? Unless you are a UK minister, in which case you have already choked on your single malt and are sputtering about 'dangerous anti-growth precedents.'
But let's examine this 'anti-growth' nonsense. What is growth? In the modern lexicon, it means more people. More people means more houses, more cars, more plastic tat from Amazon, more everything. But the Swiss, bless their pragmatic little hearts, have looked around at their picturesque Alpine valleys and said, 'Actually, we rather like having a view that isn't entirely composed of motorways and out-of-town retail parks.' The horror. The sheer capitalist heresy.
UK ministers, of course, are apoplectic. One imagines a stern-faced man in a suit that fits just a little too well, sweating into his ministerial briefs as he warns that such a move could 'set a dangerous precedent.' Why? Because if the Swiss can decide to stop growing, what next? Austrians getting picky about their population? Norwegians deciding they have enough oil money and fjords, thank you very much? It is the thin end of the wedge, the first domino, the crack in the dam. The floodgates of common sense.
But let's be honest. The Swiss are not exactly a beacon of mass immigration. They have a system where locals get first dibs on jobs, and foreigners are tolerated insofar as they can operate your private bank or serve you a decent fondue. Capping at ten million is not a radical step. It is a polite suggestion that perhaps, just perhaps, infinite growth on a finite planet is a bit of a flawed concept. But try telling that to a government that measures success by how many people can be crammed into the southeast of England.
The real tragedy here is not the Swiss vote. It is the absolute failure of imagination by our own political class. They cannot conceive of a world that is not constantly expanding, constantly consuming, constantly pushing the boundaries of what is possible. The Swiss are asking a simple question: 'What is enough?' And that is a question that terrifies those who have built their careers on the answer being 'more.'
So, as the Swiss head to the polls, let us raise a glass of something reasonably priced (none of that Swiss watch nonsense) and toast a country that is at least willing to have the conversation. And to the UK ministers who are currently drafting furious memos about 'the dangers of populism,' I say this: your panic is the most honest thing you have produced in years.
Biff Thistlethwaite, reporting from a bar in Geneva that serves a passable gin and tonic, but knows better than to trifle with the natives.
