London, UK – A financial etiquette expert has emerged to settle a decades-old dispute: the dreaded equal split of a restaurant bill. Sources confirm that the practice, long a source of resentment among diners who order only a salad while others feast on lobster, has now been addressed by none other than a consultant who has advised the Royal Family.
William Hanson, a leading authority on etiquette, has proposed a solution that would make even the Queen nod in approval: ‘itemised billing’. In an interview, Hanson declared that the tradition of dividing the total equally is ‘fundamentally unfair’ and a relic of a less transparent age. He suggests that friends should request separate bills from the start, or use payment apps to settle exact amounts.
This advice comes as uncovered documents from a major UK bank show a 40% increase in disputes over shared meals in the past year alone. The bank, which asked not to be named, confirmed that arguments over who owes what have led to strained friendships and even broken WhatsApp groups. Hanson’s royal-approved method, he claims, eliminates the awkwardness.
But there’s a catch. Sources close to the expert say that the solution requires ‘honesty and courage’ from the person who ordered the most expensive dish. ‘It’s about taking responsibility,’ Hanson told us. ‘If you had the steak, you pay for the steak. If you had tap water, you pay for water. It’s not complicated.’ Still, critics argue that this approach could lead to even more tension, as diners become obsessed with tracking every penny.
The backlash has been swift. A waiter at a central London restaurant, who wished to remain anonymous, said: ‘We already offer separate bills, but groups always say “we’ll split it equally”. Then they argue for 20 minutes. Hanson’s idea would just make that worse.’ Yet the expert counters that his method is about respect. ‘Friendship shouldn’t be about subsidising someone else’s lavish tastes,’ he said.
Hanson’s proposal has even reached the highest levels. A palace insider confirmed that the royal household has used itemised billing for private dinners for years, though they declined to comment on whether the Queen prefers to pay her share exactly.
In the end, the solution may be simple: use an app, or learn to say ‘I’ll pay for what I had’. But for those who fear offending a friend, Hanson offers one piece of advice: ‘Blame the etiquette expert. Tell them I said it’s rude not to.’
